No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
