there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
