My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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