new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
