im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
