what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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