i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
