East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Randomize
