Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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