Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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