Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
