sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
