just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
