We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
