A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
