Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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