They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
