first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Randomize
