No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
My dick has a subreddit
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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