:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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