how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
