Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I am spending my child support on dildos
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Randomize
