so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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