i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
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