are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
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