I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
