Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Send help, water and tortillas.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
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