woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
