Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
