But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
