If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
