clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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