trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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