I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
