You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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