He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
