He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
