"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
