I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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