I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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