I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
