Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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