I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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