She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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