you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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