"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I need to stop coming to work sober
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
