oh god the rape fog is back!
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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