JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
