M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
