you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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