So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Randomize
